WldNCzy01: yes, i could not figure out why [the song] was so bomb, but it just came to me all of a sudden
WldNCzy01: i was like
WldNCzy01: "holy shit, this song is perfect for boning"
DeathByAltoids: can i put that on the blog?

my chemistry teacher (Dr. Rod Schoonover)....has an EXTREMELY large 'bulge' in his pants...

he LITERALLY has an 'armadillo in his trousers'---(quote compliments of 'spinal tap')

it's ridiculous......it's Dr. Schoonover...AND his Rod.....

nevertheless it does make chemistry more interesting =)

*a discourse on the high maintence of my sister*


Rockergodforever: your sister is high maintenance
DeathByAltoids: cha...ya think?
DeathByAltoids: why, what did she do?
Rockergodforever: we had to stop every 30 minutes for bathroom breaks
DeathByAltoids: hah
DeathByAltoids: of course
Rockergodforever: on the way down
DeathByAltoids: just DON'T give her ANYTHING TO DRINk
DeathByAltoids: EVEr
Rockergodforever: just want to get a shout out to my homies in Westchester
DeathByAltoids: um...yeah?
Rockergodforever: from last nite
Rockergodforever: we stopped there
Rockergodforever: among others
Rockergodforever: i was watching my back
DeathByAltoids: hahaha
DeathByAltoids: nice
Rockergodforever: i was like Haley, i didn't bring my AK47 tonite
DeathByAltoids: yeah...tell your friends in compton you'll stop by some other night, aight?

THE DIFFERENCE

'Twixt optimist and pessimist
The difference is droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut;
The pessimist sees the hole.

-- Mclandburgh Wilson.......(thanks erik....a mis-citation on the blog must never arise again)

*a word to the wise*

if i EVER....get another JUNK email with the subject line that reads "someone pinch me".......all hell will break loose

that is all

--aren't 6 year olds just the cutest thing?--

"he had two q-tips in his ears....and two q-tips lodged in his butthole!....."

--excerpt from a conversation i overheard at the beach...--

for lack of anything else to say on the blog-

I67945434: two words, my intergalactic homey: PUPPET FUNK

alright.....that's cool i guess...

kitty hamburgers!.....playing piano?

....all you have to do is press the keys on your keyboard....and the kitties will sing....kinda sick, huh?

I LOVE IT!

....is appears that we now have an ice hotel.....in canada....who'd a thunk?

i just went to the gym......at 9:00 this morning......

....do i hear applause?....

it's unanimous.....

Fantazoo: Meagan is a dork! A really big dork! Ha! Hahaha!

....thanks laurel....thanks A LOT! jerk......(j/k)

mikasully: This is a Cal Poly chain letter. Send this to every Cal Poly student you know, and get some pride going around. Let's prove that we arn't just a bunch of crop growing, rodeo riding, shit smelling, cowboys and girls.

....after i died from a grueling day.....this is what my crazy friend Loo had to say....

Loobird01: -^^^^---^^-^--^--^--------------------

Auto response from DeathByAltoids: dead

Loobird01: i just drew our your death for you
Loobird01: you Flatlined!
Loobird01: ha ha!

....love you loo!.....

..away message from a cal poly freshman--graduate of loyola high school---

....those crazy loyola guys.....

"What's up? My name's B. I'm originally from lac. I graduated from lhs after taking my sat. I'm currently a student at cpsu, where I plan to recieve my phd. My favorite channel is mtv and I'm always down with opp. Leave a message on my pc and I'll get back to you asap."

erik's rantings.......long, but worth it...his philosophies and added humor make it one of the most interesting and entertaining essays i've read in my life thus far....was i already destined to read them?....

That Shit I Just Took Was A Metaphor For My Entire Life
Or
Why I Write Such Good 55-Word Pieces Of Fiction

By esapper@calpoly.edu

Right now I’m listening to music, Black Eyed Peas, Moby, Erasure, etc., and I tend to fully explain my 55-word fiction; not for a good grade or to justify it in any way, but to help me, and possibly you, understand why I wrote it.
Yesterday, at three in the morning, I did something that I knew I would regret. It wasn’t drugs, or alcohol, or sex, or anything else like that. Most people would have no problem with what I did. But I did. I saw that the window of opportunity for reflection was open, so I jumped through it. At four in the morning, while my roommate was still deep in sleep, I took a shower, made some popcorn, grabbed some books and an RC cola, and decided to go drive and watch the sunrise at Montana de Oro state park slash beach. It was nice, I was playing music, thinking, more thinking, and enjoying the extremely foggy drive. When I arrived at the beach, something was missing. It may have been in the view. It may have been in me. Either way, it wasn’t going to work. I decided to make my final destination the Pismo Beach pier. I had plenty of time to make the thirty-mile drive. Once I got there, though, I was bored. The lights in the parking lot were harsh and the vibes I got from the early morning heads where not good. I wasn’t scared of them, of course not. But they were tainting the situation, if you will. I happily decided to drive back to the dorm; maybe I’d catch the sunrise on the way back.
I didn’t catch the sunrise on the way back to the dorms. I lumbered into the room at 5:30. Brad, my roommate, didn’t even notice. I slept until noon.
With as much knowledge as an 18-year-old male can have on the subject, I am confident to say that I am in love with R------. I knew her in high school. She was a sophomore on the swim team and I was a freshman. Everyone thought she was the most attractive girl on the team. She was. I never talked to her. My friend Ted and I were probably the most obnoxious kids on the team. Why try to impress R------? I’d never get the chance to hang out with here.
I didn’t see R------ for four years. I didn’t talk to her, didn’t even think about her. She didn’t know that I moved 2200 miles away. She didn’t care. I didn’t care. Oh well.
R------ is a sophomore at Cal Poly majoring in Architectural Engineering. I’m a freshman at Cal Poly majoring in Biochemistry and Biotechnology. Enough said.
I saw her the first week I was here in the restaurant that she works at. And she approached me! Girls tell me that that’s a good thing, but then again I always over-analyze everything. We got to talking and the weekend later we went to the beach to surf. We then got dinner and ice cream. She loves ice cream. I hate it. But she doesn’t know that…
R------ is only taking classes this summer because she failed physics in the spring. She’s not a dumb person; she just doesn’t have the capacity for logic that physics requires. I told her I have a small knowledge of physics and that maybe I could help her study some time. She said she’d take me up on that offer. She didn’t. She got a five percent on her last exam.
I like her a lot. So much that I would never want to do anything sexual with her for fear of making her hate me or the situation. I don’t want to ruin her in any way. It’s the old Freudian fresh flower of a girl crap. But I like it. She’s innocent; in life and in science, which is a something I’ve never experienced before in a person. She never been in trouble with the law; I’ve been a prime suspect for a car smashing case; I was and still am innocent. She doesn’t understand vector physics or two-dimensional motion; I worked on a project concerning weak Anderson localization in a one-dimensional medium; only a handful of specialists in the entire world understood what I was doing.
R------ and I are contrasts; and I like that. My friend once said that love is simply a random appropriation of values. I like that definition. I appropriate feelings of friendship, love, knowledge, warmth, comfort, etc. towards R------. I wonder if she can feel this appropriation? I might never know.
I like being of above average intelligence, but sometimes I hate it. I hate having to stay up some nights thinking about VSEPR or PCR or morals or God or Buddha or drugs or girls or R------. I hate it when people ask me where I’m staying in the fall and eventually the words ‘honors program’ have to be said. It’s arrogant as hell for a school to even have an honors program. But I do it to help me get a good job later on. I don’t want a shit job after college. I don’t want to hate work. I want to succeed. I want to do good work. I want to work hard.
As far as I’m concerned, the last nine-hundred words pretty much sum up my movie. My Life. Can I change it if I don’t like it? I just drank an RC cola. I will challenge anyone to effectively prove to me that I could have had, or not had, anything else to drink. I had an RC cola. I will have always had an RC cola. That fact will never change. I was destined to have that RC cola a gillion billion years ago. Sure, I could have theoretically had a Coke, but I didn’t, so the theoretical crap doesn’t mean anything. We all know that:

The past controls the present and the future,
We can’t control the past, and
We can’t control the way the past controls the present and the future, so
We can’t control the present and the future.

The whole train of logic just witnessed by you, the reader, can be summed up in this delightful poem by some unknown and unlucky soul of the past:

“There was a young man who said ‘Damn,
It is borne upon me that I am
a creature that moves
in predestinate grooves—
Not even a bus, but a tram.’”

But this is, of course, if you observe time as a past to present type of thing. The Greeks perceived time as a present to past thing. We’re going one way, while time is going in the opposite direction. Interesting. This means that I drank the RC cola ten minutes ago because ten minutes from then there was going to be an empty RC bottle in the trashcan. Notice the subtle but hugely important difference:

Time as perceived from past to present to future (normal):
There’s an empty RC bottle in the trashcan because ten minutes ago I drank an RC cola and threw the bottle in the trashcan.

Time perceived from future to present to past (Greek):
I drank the RC cola ten minutes ago because ten minutes from then there was going to be an empty RC bottle in the trashcan and for some reason I had to fulfill that.

How delightfully queer. And it’s just as likely that time actually goes in the Greek direction. We could have been wrong these last million years. That’s what I think is so interesting; watching people and society think that what they see and hear is the way it is. Even when it comes to basic and huge ideas such as time. People question George W. Bush’s decisions in the White House, but no one questions the way the world perceives time on this endless roller coaster that MTV calls Life.

I’ll openly admit that this 1/30th of a second concept is not my brainchild. I did, if it counts for anything, which I don’t think it does, conceptualize the essence of the idea in sixth grade, when I was first introduced to Zen Buddhism. A basic precept for Zen Buddhism is to live in the Now, at one with Everything. But I wondered how anyone could always be in the Now if when I look at this tree it takes me a split second to realize I’m looking at it. We are always living in the past, if only by a fraction of a second. I later encountered this idea in greater and more understandable depth in Tom Wolfe’s collection of essays entitled “The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.”

“A person has all sorts of lags built into him…One, the most basic, is the sensory lag, the lag between the time your sense receive something and you are able to react. One thirtieth of a second is the time it takes, if you’re the most alert person alive, and most people are a lot slower than that. Now, [Neal] Cassady [aka Dean Moriarty] is right up against the 1/30th of a second barrier. He is going as fast as a human can go, but even he can’t overcome it. He is a living example of how close you can come, but it can’t be done. You can’t go any faster than that. You can’t through sheer speed overcome the lag. We are all of us doomed to spend our lives watching a movie of our lives – we are always acting on what has just finished happening. It happened at least 1/30th of a second ago. We think we’re in the present, but we aren’t. The present we know is only a movie of the past, and we will really never be able to control the present through ordinary means. That lag has to be overcome some other way, through some kind of total breakthrough (Wolfe, 144).”

We’re all stuck in our own movies, whether we realize it or not, and whether we like it or not. Do we like our movies? Do we like our lives? Do I wish that last week instead of just walking along the beach with R------, I was holding her hand as well? Do I wish that on my last Chemistry test I got an “A” instead of a “B”? What am I going to do about it? Do you like your movie? That’s a hard question to answer. But…

…if you don’t?

What do you/we do to fix it? That’s the question. We all have things we’d like to change about our lives. Even if you live the “perfect” life you always thought you wanted to live, just knowing that there is a lag in consciousness is cause for unrest. “You mean I’m not really living my life?” It’s a very unsettling idea that is practically impossible to shake of as nonsense.

That’s what I’m trying to get across in my 55-word fiction. I think I did a fairly decent job at summing up all of what Wolfe was saying, while adding a sort of sassy twist to it. I meant for it to be sassy (maybe pushy is the word I’m looking for…) because that’s the essence of time in relation to life. You don’t have time to sit on a rock and figure out what you want to do tomorrow, in a year, for the rest of your life. You have to act and you have to act now.

“Buy the ticket, take the ride (Thompson, 10).”

As far as the wording of the last sentence fragment goes, I understand that it could have been hard to understand. I typed the first draft without worrying about words, and it came to 59 words. It was damn hard to get those four out! At the time, it seemed most logical and “readable,” if you will, to change “and if you don’t?” or “what if you don’t?” to “…if you don’t?” I thought it flowed nicely, even with the discrepancy posed by the missing words. I’ll offer some one-of-a-kind rewritten versions in the Appendix. Hopefully one or two of them will shed light on the impact I was trying to convey in the last phrase of my piece (I personally like all of them better than the original).

I have no doubt in my mind that I have failed to effectively present my ideas as I would have liked to. Hell, I can’t even fully express them to myself! It’s so very hard to explain a concept to anyone or anything when you can’t even explain it to yourself. But it’s scratching the surface. And in philosophy (for philosophy is life), scratching the surface almost always leads to eventual gorging on the core. Hopefully I’ll get there soon enough. Thanks for reading…


(Oh yeah, the title. I know it’s a bit screwy. I always wanted to title an essay with the words “shit” and “metaphor” in the same sentence. I thought now would be as good a time as any. The second title is a cheap (and wholly sarcastic) rip off of one of Nietzsche’s last essays, “Why I Write Such Good Books,” from his work Ecco Hommo.




Appendix

The Movie Review- Class Version

It’s called reaction time, kid. It means that everything you see, hear, feel, touch, and smell happened one-thirtieth of a second ago. Everything that you think you’re doing, kid, you just did in the past, a fraction of a second ago. You’re watching a movie, kid. Your Life. Do you like it? …If you don’t?


The Movie Review- Alternate Ending Version 1.1

It’s reaction time, kid. It means that everything you see, hear, feel, touch, and smell happened one-thirtieth of a second ago. Everything that you think you’re doing, kid, you just did in the past, a fraction of a second ago. You’re watching a movie, kid. Your Life. Do you like it? …What if you don’t?


The Movie Review- Alternate Ending Version 1.2.1

It’s called reaction time, kid. It means that everything you see, hear, feel, touch, and smell happened one-thirtieth of a second ago. Everything that you think you’re doing, kid, you just did in the past. You’re watching a movie on a screen; Your Life. Do you like it? …What do you do if you don’t?


The Movie Review- Alternate Ending Version 1.2.2

It’s reaction time, kid. It means that everything you see, hear, feel, touch, and smell happened one-thirtieth of a second ago. Everything that you think you’re doing, kid, you just did in the past. You’re watching a movie on a screen; Your Life. Do you like it? …And what do you do if you don’t?





Works Cited

Blackburn, Simon. “Think.” Oxford University Press, Oxford, 1999.

Thompson, Hunter S. “Generation of Swine; Gonzo Papers Volume 2: Tales of Shame and Degradation in
80’s.” Vintage Books, New York, 1988.

Wolfe, Tom. “The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.” Bantam Books, New York, 1968.

Suspension policy needs reworking

By: Erik Sapper

March 23, 2001

I was recently suspended for five days for "mooning" two female students whom I know quite well. I was called into the office during foundations, and within thirty minutes I was escorted out of the building with a warning not to step within 300 feet of the school, or the police would be called for trespassing. For five days I was not allowed to participate in school sports, the school paper, or mentor connection. This is, indeed, a punishment, and a good one at that. But does it make sense?

First, it should be noted that, by school definition, "mooning" is a sexual offense and lies under sexual harassment. This in itself is a point to be argued. The students I "mooned" understood that my action carried no sexual meaning and was in no way an attempt to "harass" them or make them feel uncomfortable. In all fairness, my actions might have offended other people, and that, indeed, is the basis on which I was punished.

But this brings up an interesting question. What is or should be considered "sexual" harassment in today's teenage society? An all too crude but very relevant example would be when teenagers stick up their middle finger and wave it at other persons. Although this gesture implies a very sexual saying, it is never intended that way. Would this be "sexual" harassment at Maple Grove? Probably not. What if a student said out loud in class "I was shafted!" or "I'm screwed!"? I would bet that they would not be punished for "sexual" harassment either. But I was punished for "sexual" harassment.

Is a five day suspension alone suitable for someone being punished for true sexual harassment? Certainly not. What does the student learn from the suspension? Absolutely nothing. I have had five full days of nothing but sleeping in, relaxing, and visiting college campuses. If I do indeed have a problem with "sexual" harassment, like some coaches, teachers, or administrators would like to believe, does giving me a literal vacation help me out in any way? No.

So what is the school to do? Instead of suspending "sexual offenders" for five days, why not have them do a few hours of community service or visit a battered wives home? I must admit that ten hours of community service (with no suspension at all) would have been much worse than my five day "break" from the rigors of school.

So why does the school use traditional suspension in any case? Why not send fighters and weapon-possessors to visit a county jail? Why not send drug-possessors to a rehab center? Why not send students who don't pay attention in school or students who are excessively angry or violent to a counselor or doctor? Administrators need to decide if they want to punish strudents or help them.

Traditional suspension does very little to solve the problem at hand and only causes extra work for the teachers of the student, not the student himself. Upon returning to school, I have five days to make up missed work. That means that my teachers will be correcting my work separately from all the other students in the class until I am caught up.

What is needed is a rethinking of the way we punish students at our school. If the school is going to punish students for pointless and stupid acts, they might as well punish them in an effective way.

Sapper babble
By: Erik Sapper

March 23, 2001

The lunchroom chaos

Envelops me and my friends

When will it end? When?

The shrimp poppers, good.

Chicken Patty, still bad.

Rolls still make me glad.

It's now time to go

The sudden rise tells me so

But how do we know?

There's not enough space

In this small haiku stanza,

My phenomenon:

The lunchroom get up.

That spontaneous get up.

A wave of leaving.



Instantaneous,

Spontaneous lunch room rise.

Fly like doves, to class.

Who is it, I ask,

This getter-upper at lunch?

Who makes us all leave?

Starts in the middle,

With its exponential growth.

Hits us, so we leave.

No bell, No ringing,

Simply a wave of power

I'm at class on time.

Everyday at lunch

The get up "plan" will repeat.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Smurfs make me wonder.

Where the heck did they come from?

There's no Mama Smurf!

No Mama, just a Daisy,

And a lot of angry men Smurfs.

Explain this to me!

How does this happen?

Could it be that Smurfs are cloned

From one ideal Smurf?

What about Daisy?

Is she the one legit Smurf?

What is her story?

Daisy = Scientist?

The Smurf with the big test tube,

Making other Smurfs?

Brainy and Handy,

Hefty, Papa, and Daisy,

And four-hundred more...



Beware all the Smurfs.

Hundreds strong, they will rebel.

Ready the Army.

But of course, I jest.

Smurfs are just silly cartoons...

Oops, it's time to go!

"i will gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today"

good fun with obscene t-shirts....

i walked by two ladies that were behind the makeup counter in robinson's may....and i caught this little 'snippet' of their conversation....

"......so he wore two condoms instead of......"

...i'm walking by, i look over at my mom....she's doubled over in laughter....we're both just like..."what the hell is going on.."

needless to say, we were highly amused...

when asked by a reporter 'why he didn't wear suits on his album covers'......Ted Nugent replied....

"why didn't you douche yourself with molten lava.."

.....you da man Nuge....you da man......

i think i'm going to be violently ill.......

....when asked about her new movie, britney spears responded with this.....

"it's a teen movie and it's funny. but it also has teen issues. in the movie, one of my friends has been date raped and another one has an eating disorder. and that makes it real."

....i don't even have a comment for that....i'll leave it up to you to find what's wrong with that...

*ridiculous....just ridiculous*

you know what's cool about blogs?

i can write an entry.....at this time of the morning....and the only person who cares is me....

aah.....life is good....

my roomate is an idiot....

LISA'S **Tip of the Day:
NEVER try to type and blow dry your hair at the same time...it results in serious burn trauma to the scalp! (I am still recovering from that one)

~just kidding lisa...you know i love you....maybe next time i'll show you how to count all the way to schfifty-five....that's AFTER you realize that typing and blow-drying your hair is probably the dumbest thing you have done...

...that's what i'm talking about, that's what i've BEEN talking about....and that's what i WILL be talking about in the future...

Look at me! I'm cool! I'm Erik on the Blog! It's 110% E-Pill, baby! Whoo-hooo! Shout out to Neva, the most "kick=@ss" ducky R.A. in the whole world! Love, Erik :)

after posting this away message........this is what my dad wrote back....

Auto response from DeathByAltoids: i'm at a loss for words...

Rockergodforever: If you're at a loss for words, try the dictionary, which reminds me of a funny story. While perusing a friends library during some down time, I happened upon a book called "Girl to Grab". As a youth of 17 of course this immediately caught my attention. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be volume 7 of the Encyclopedia Britannica! I don't feel sheepish.

~i love you dad~

~metamorphosis~

yesterday you came to me,
your eyes were warm and giving.
today i saw you standing there.
it was like i wasn't even living.
i don't know why you do this to me,
it's this that i despise,
you fluctuate your attitudes,
more than you change your lies.
i used to think you were special,
like no one i'd ever met;
but one time after another,
yourself you did forget.
you changed into a stranger,
someone i'd never known;
but little did i realize,
this new life was your own.
so now i'll keep on living,
and you'll just go get high;
but at least this i can say-
that my whole life is not a lie.

i like the word 'anus'

Letters Jan. 16-31, 1999 PROVERBS FOR THE MILLENNIUM
1. Home is where you hang your @
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
9. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Windows will never cease.
18. In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
19. Virtual reality is its own reward.
20. Modulation in all things.
21. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
22. There's no place like .
23. Know what to expect before you connect.
24. Oh, what a tangled web site we weave when first we practice.
25. Speed thrills.
26. Give a man (or for that matter anyone) a fish and you feed him for a
day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

recent phenomenon....

i saved $1.94 with my ralph's club card....

today....is a good day....

i don't even know why i am posting this.....

http://www.n-man.f2s.com/stuff/mario.swf

go there......what the hell is going on?

question....

why is it always 'going off' at people's houses?

i mean please........NOTHING IS GOING OFF.....GET OVER YOURSELF!

ahem....

the insensitivity of my sister.....

DeathByAltoids: I'M HUNGRY!
HaleBopp424: lol
HaleBopp424: go eat
DeathByAltoids: what are YOU doing

Auto response from HaleBopp424: Wandering aimlessly around my house...

DeathByAltoids: ok...that's cool....don't worry about me..i'll just be here....
DeathByAltoids: *sniffle*
DeathByAltoids: where did you go?
DeathByAltoids: *cries hysterically*
DeathByAltoids: sorry...i've regained composure now....i don't know what that was...

what a heinous bitc-----i mean.....um...er....

THill652: are you by any chance, um, there?
THill652: I'm feeling rather insecure, on account that my computer has been disconnected from AIM twice already
THill652: as a computer nerd, my technological superiority is closely tied to my self esteem and percieved size of penis
THill652: and since my computer is failing me and becoming as wimpy and panty waisted as myself, i am becoming quite traumatized
THill652: i think i'll go hide in the corner and go suck my thumb now

why is today such a sad day?

sooo.....according to....http://www.hairpinharpie.addr.com/drink_quiz/quiz.html.......

...if i were a type of drink...i'd be a.....

PINK LADY

...i 'warm the heart and look cute, but are really toxic'.....

what? me? never!

hi

ok...so Lisa, Tory, and I are all looking for a fourth roomate to live with us, and we are devising a list of questions to ask people when we interview them.....here are some sample questions...

1. Ok, so....how many fish have you owned thus far in your life? Mhmm...ok, and now how many of those have been from the carnival? Good, good....now out of these so called 'carnival fish'..how many have died?

2. Ok...Sexual preference....a. men......b. males....c. guys....d. all of the above....e. none of the above....see ya later...

3. Two words......bombastic love....what the hell is going on? please interpret....

4. Ok....10 words on the state of american social culture and society starting....now!

5. The Gettysburg address......sheer genius? or a marketing tool?

6. Ok...for the talent portion....15 minutes of pure trance beats.....memorize them...and perform...ok, you have 5 minutes....and GO!

7. Britney Spears lyrics....can you recite them in a monologue type fashion? we'll give you some time to prepare...ok......go...

8. Alright....we were thinking of a meth. lab in the house....your thoughts on this matter?

****and those are just a few....we will be thinking of more.....please! IM me at DeathByAltoids with more questions we could ask....and....GO!

i just learned what the word 'uncanny' means........

it's a happy day..

two words mika.....

fire crotch

THill652: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!
THill652: Just thought you needed more maniacal laughter in your life!

alright....here's the deal....

two words....

'bombastic love'

what the hell is going on?

britney need a hit! britney need a hit like a crackwhore need a hit!....

this is long....but it's probably the funniest conversation i have EVER had with anyone....kudos mom, you made the 'blogspot'....

DeathByAltoids: hi mom
TCMatriarch: You threw up this morning?
DeathByAltoids: yeah..i think i have some sort of bug
TCMatriarch: I am so comming up there
DeathByAltoids: no no no mom
DeathByAltoids: i'm ok
TCMatriarch: what do mean
DeathByAltoids: nothing
DeathByAltoids: i'm feeling better
TCMatriarch: did you ONLY throw up this morning?........like MORNING sickness???????????????
DeathByAltoids: no mom
DeathByAltoids: like food poisening
TCMatriarch: HMMMMMMM
TCMatriarch: I don't like it
DeathByAltoids: it's fine mom...i took a nap earlier
TCMatriarch: I don't like it I think I should come up there
DeathByAltoids: mom!
DeathByAltoids: i'm fine
DeathByAltoids: are you ok?
DeathByAltoids: how was the halls?
TCMatriarch: In fact I think you should come home!~
DeathByAltoids: i'll be home soon mom
TCMatriarch: how do I get that little squiggly line?
TCMatriarch: Halls was AMAZING like always- wow how does she do it .....blah blah blah
TCMatriarch: yuk
DeathByAltoids: how disgusting
TCMatriarch: I may have had a bit too much wine on an empty stomach
DeathByAltoids: ok mom
DeathByAltoids: are you a little 'tipsy'
TCMatriarch: no never not me
TCMatriarch: actually I'm a little pissed
DeathByAltoids: why?
TCMatriarch: no thats an english term
DeathByAltoids: oh
DeathByAltoids: i see
TCMatriarch: however I Am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mad at Mrs Weinstein
DeathByAltoids: yeah
DeathByAltoids: i heard about the neckleace
TCMatriarch: what did Haley say?
DeathByAltoids: just that you went shopping, pointed out the necklace, and now stephanie has it
TCMatriarch: brb
DeathByAltoids: ok
TCMatriarch: i'M BACK!~
DeathByAltoids: hey!
DeathByAltoids: where did you go?
DeathByAltoids: bano?
TCMatriarch: WHAT THE HECK WITH THE SQUIGGLY LINE?
TCMatriarch: no Logan nedded a tums
TCMatriarch: ate too much
TCMatriarch: where are u
TCMatriarch: are you going to class tomorrow?
DeathByAltoids: yeah
TCMatriarch: where you hung over?
DeathByAltoids: why wouldn't i?
DeathByAltoids: hung over?
DeathByAltoids: what?
DeathByAltoids: what are you talking about?
TCMatriarch: throwing up?
TCMatriarch: do u want me top come there?
DeathByAltoids: no mom!
DeathByAltoids: i'm fine!
TCMatriarch: I miss u
DeathByAltoids: i miss you
TCMatriarch: u r whats good about me
DeathByAltoids: awww
TCMatriarch: hic up
DeathByAltoids: mom, you are weird:-)..but i love you anyway
TCMatriarch: yeah
TCMatriarch: 8-)
DeathByAltoids: oh...cool shades
TCMatriarch: your futures so bright I haffta wear shades
DeathByAltoids: oh man
DeathByAltoids: cheesy!
DeathByAltoids: but funny
TCMatriarch: U wanna know what sucks about adulthood?
DeathByAltoids: what
TCMatriarch: u won't be any different then you are now ....just older!~
DeathByAltoids: um...what?
TCMatriarch: Why do I have asquiggly line?
TCMatriarch: a- squiggly
DeathByAltoids: becuase you keep accidentally pressing it when you hit an exclamation point
TCMatriarch: every time I use the !~ I have a squiggly line
TCMatriarch: I only hit the exclpoint
TCMatriarch: exclamation point
TCMatriarch: !~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TCMatriarch: !!!!!!!!!!
DeathByAltoids: no...you must accidentally hit it
TCMatriarch: ok its better now
DeathByAltoids: DON"T USE SO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS
DeathByAltoids: ok
TCMatriarch: y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TCMatriarch: Chris is a good kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TCMatriarch: He came to the Halls ....He knows how to playnthe game!!!!!
DeathByAltoids: yay
TCMatriarch: yea
TCMatriarch: i miss u
DeathByAltoids: i miss you too mom
DeathByAltoids: you are in rare form tonight, rare form
TCMatriarch: not the same!
DeathByAltoids: uncle kevin and aunt laura took me to dinner
TCMatriarch: UHHHH how was it?
DeathByAltoids: it was good
DeathByAltoids: WAY fun
DeathByAltoids: they brought me a care package
TCMatriarch: ya know how cool
DeathByAltoids: i need their address from you later so i can send a thank you
TCMatriarch: what did they bring?
DeathByAltoids: food and snapple
DeathByAltoids: how nice
TCMatriarch: I complain but......we have a cool family even though it's screwewd up
TCMatriarch: wow spelling?
TCMatriarch: not my forte
DeathByAltoids: i suppose
DeathByAltoids: we do have a cool family
DeathByAltoids: how are we screwed up?
TCMatriarch: divorces and all
DeathByAltoids: oh
DeathByAltoids: but we ourselves are cool
DeathByAltoids: us as a family
TCMatriarch: THE BEST
DeathByAltoids: yeah
TCMatriarch: I don't know if the rest would agree
TCMatriarch: God I love you!
DeathByAltoids: i love you too mom
DeathByAltoids: the rest would agree
DeathByAltoids: we are so cool!
TCMatriarch: ahhh I guess I should go to bed ....Do you want me to come up there?
DeathByAltoids: mom
DeathByAltoids: i'm fine
DeathByAltoids: i feel better
TCMatriarch: I worry
TCMatriarch: I pray ever day for you!
DeathByAltoids: no...i'm fine....maybe i had too much alcohol on an empty stomach as well.....j/k:-)
DeathByAltoids: thanks mom!
TCMatriarch: for God to surround you with angles
DeathByAltoids: thank you
DeathByAltoids: he does mom, he does everyday
TCMatriarch: OoOoOoOoOoOo
DeathByAltoids: um
DeathByAltoids: what?
TCMatriarch: don't wanna admit u r growing up
DeathByAltoids: sometimes, you just have to let go
TCMatriarch: I'm scared for u
DeathByAltoids: mom!
DeathByAltoids: i'm fine
DeathByAltoids: really
TCMatriarch: I know
DeathByAltoids: you've taught me well
TCMatriarch: boo-hoo-hoo
TCMatriarch: shit pmsing too
TCMatriarch: really want u here
TCMatriarch: thats P M S ing
DeathByAltoids: yeah
DeathByAltoids: i got it
DeathByAltoids: :-)
DeathByAltoids: yeah...maybe you should take some midol
TCMatriarch: :-[ u r well everything
DeathByAltoids: awww
DeathByAltoids: you kill me! *tear*
TCMatriarch: I talk about you .....inscesently
DeathByAltoids: i'm sure...i talk about you all all the time too..i'm sure everyone up here is tired of hearing about us:-)
TCMatriarch: WE ARE KOOL
TCMatriarch: did you see Ms. Swan last night?
DeathByAltoids: yeah......kool...
DeathByAltoids: yes!
DeathByAltoids: i loved it
DeathByAltoids: did you ssee britney!?
TCMatriarch: marco
DeathByAltoids: polo!
TCMatriarch: he he he
TCMatriarch: Brittany is U G L Y
DeathByAltoids: yeah
DeathByAltoids: she's weird lookin'
TCMatriarch: CUT THE HAIR
TCMatriarch: ick
DeathByAltoids: exactly
DeathByAltoids: what a tramp
TCMatriarch: as I heard one radio guy put it .....We just wanna see her half naked with a snake around her neck
TCMatriarch: stop singing
DeathByAltoids: hah
DeathByAltoids: oh my
DeathByAltoids: scandolous
TCMatriarch: all right darlin I gotta go I LOVE YOU ....BE GOOD DO WELL KICK ASS LOVE mom
DeathByAltoids: g'night mom
DeathByAltoids: love you too
TCMatriarch: g'nite

enigma8460: chemistry homework fun for u too?....chemistry is only worthy cuz its so fun to almost have your hand blown off by exploding test tubes full of corrosive liquids which also fill the air in order to create a gas that burns ur lungs

yup adam....that's exactly correct....i suppose....

HOLY SHNIKES! the word of the day at www.uselessknowledge.com

copious
Pronunciation: /KO-pe-us/
adj : an abundance of something. Something present in a large quantity.
"Megan drank a copious amount of water every day for her health."

...how.....appropriate....

WldNCzy01: wanna see something cute?

......'nuff said.......

and another thing....

mutliple punctuation marks are alright if they are intermixed with other forms of punctuation....

i.e. "?!?" is alright.....just as "!?!" is also alright.....

thank you for your time

*rant*

what the hell is wrong with people who feel the need to go into their closets about 500 TIMES A DAY!

....i.e....the girl who lives next door....I CAN HEAR HER EVERY SINGLE TIME! WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT IN THERE THAT YOU FEEL THE NEED TO OPEN AND SHUT YOUR CLOSET DOORS EVERY TWO SECONDS?!?

*rant*

......today, my ear.....just started RINGING...i couldn't hear ANYTHING else BUT the ringing.....

what the hell is going on?

DeathByAltoids: enis
DeathByAltoids: detatchable penis
DeathByAltoids: that was lisa
DeathByAltoids: she can't spell
HaleBopp424: o0o0
HaleBopp424: its ok...
DeathByAltoids: haha
HaleBopp424: some people can't type penis
LilLaLa1223: why is that?
LilLaLa1223: i can
LilLaLa1223: penis
LilLaLa1223: penis
LilLaLa1223: penis
LilLaLa1223: penis
LilLaLa1223: see its not a problem
DeathByAltoids: shove it...

do you think people who are religious are more mentally stable than those who aren't? whilst i am pondering this question.....(and writing a paper on it...) you may leave me a message....:-)

.......when i posted that question on my away message, these are the responses that i received......

1. BrothaWillay: well, though obvious, it depends on the religion. there are always those outliers who f the average sanity of the gang. i mean, you have Christians proclaiming how cool God is and then you have the Catholics who are more traditional and then there are the 'bible tokers' and j-dawg witnesses, yeah, they used to come around my block back home. my sister and i would always try to keep an eye for such solicitation, but if we didn't catch them early enough we would have to hit the deck so they wouldn't see us through the windows. but i'm not scared anymore.

2. WldNCzy01: trick please...
WldNCzy01: more mentally stable...
WldNCzy01: :-)
WldNCzy01: hardly!

3. CamMalibu: simply.....yes

.....what do you think?....